03. Subconscious Secrets That Block your SuccessApr 20, 2021
Without thinking too hard on it, what are you looking to achieve in the next year, and on a scale of 0-10 - how important is this to you?
Yesterday morning I was sitting in the sun in my in-law's garden... and found my self saying yes to a croissant that I had promised myself I wouldn't have. Classic story.
I'm on a goal at the moment to lose 7lbs from lockdown weight. Just to feel comfier and be at my normal place. Should be no problem, I've always managed it before.
When I set my mind on something I achieve it but yesterday I found my self giving in to the delight of a delicious, warm buttery croissant, in full knowledge this is definitely not going to help me lose any weight (sigh).
We all know that weight loss is very simple - all I need to do is to create a calorie deficit.
Lots of things we want in our lives and career are simple, but we don't do them. Why?
Why we don't do the things we know we need to do to get the things we want
Last week a client said to me:
"I feel really stupid, I know all of these things so why aren't I doing it?"
I'll be honest and say to you what I said to my client. You already know why.
In this article, you won't learn anything new. What you will get is a moment to ask yourself the harder question of "why aren't I allowing myself to achieve what I really want?"
We all know that we should drink more water and eat more broccoli. But we don't because of these three reasons:
1. You are only seeing the blocks and not the road forward
Your mindset is seeing only the hard work and the pain, which understandably makes us pause. What if I told you there way another way through?
Goals aren't meant to be easy, but they aren't there to be deliberately hard either. Sometimes we see the pain so much more than the reward. For instance, I work with clients who want to change the way people think of them so they can either get stronger results from a team, more investment/business or a promotion. But that will never happen if you think of your self in a certain way.
"I'm not good at socialising" "I'm not like the other successful people" "They have more opportunities than me".
All that might be true, but you'll never overcome your limiting beliefs unless you challenge how you identify yourself. This will inform the way you see challenges, and determine how you approach them.
2. You are comfortable where you are
This is why I are the croissant. I'm comfy. It was all too wonderful and delectable to sit in the sun with loved ones for the first time in months and enjoy a breakfast treat. It's comfy and easier than saying no thank you. And that's fine!
But no one made meaningful changes by staying comfy.
3. You don't want it enough (in the moment)
Dicipline is easy if you want it... all the time. That is when it's easy to forget goals, or eat croissants. Right there, in that decision making moment I wanted a croissant more than I wanted to lose 7lbs.
Having those moments are fine, as long as you own your decisions and don;t beat yourself up. I wanted the croissant. I wanted to take that moment to enjoy the full experience with family, and I took responsibility for that decision.
And then I did a 3 mile run.
The question is, which of these three struck a chord with you - and what are you going to do about it?
Alexandra Bond Burnett
I am an Executive Speaking and Impact Coach, and certified DISC practitioner, known for coaching professionals in accounting, finance, fintech and tech, a leading writer on presentation skills and presence in finance, host of Ambition to Impact Podcast, and founder of coaching and training consultancy Speakingambition.com
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